Keep Your Prayers

(Art by jerome lagarrigue)

Don’t pray for me.

I know how. I can help myself.

What’s a prayer anyway? An excuse to be lazy, an acceptance of crazy. You send fear out, expecting bravery in return.

Lies, made up, illuminated scars, hoping they will hide what you haven’t recovered. A proud man, hurts what he cherishes. I grew up with selfish love. If you wanted more, you have to give it to yourself.

I know what I do is wrong. But sometimes, it’s necessary, and I haven’t prayed since I discovered misbehaving made me feel I belong. You may not like or be able to stomach what keeps me honest. You see my gold teeth and think I am beneath- you- ignore the reflection or your truth, a stench you can’t stomach. But you expect me to put up with your shit.