How Fathers Attract Better Relationships With Their Children
How you think about your kids is how they show up in your life.
Children will forever be their own person. Persuaded by kindness and time spent. If the money shows more than you, they eventually think and go their own way. Away from you. The more parents push, the more intense their child’s rebellion, and the longer it will last.
When you’re pissed off at your child, they will show up in your premeditated thoughts, but not as the loving child they are or how you want them to be. This is dangerous because you are attaching a level of perfection to them you were never able to achieve. And neither will they-the beginning of familial hate.
Attracting a better relationship requires showing respect to who You love.
Think about your friend, your boss. Or that coworker you think is attractive- constantly talking, complaining, rambling on and on or making excuses about the same mistake.
Now think about your child- constantly talking, complaining, rambling on and on or making excuses about the same mistake.
Who do you cut off, or want to tell shut the fuck up, but catch yourself and probably just listen to and pretend to care while your blood boils? Standing there allowing wasted time to waste your life.
I bet it ain’t your friend, boss, or coworker.
Every parent gets tired of the same mistakes from their children. And no matter how bad we want to fix them, before you attempt or approach…
Make sure you…
End your solo-pre-meditated conversations on a positive. They can start angry (and probably will), but when they end angry- the real conversation between parent and child will start as an attack and end in a war. The mad solo is like an angry letter or email you don’t send. You need to let the negative feelings out so you can think and speak clearly without abused or abusive emotions.
Some children create aggravation and drama because they don’t know how to ask for help. Then the little assholes push parents away when they’re done and don’t want you to see them cleaning up their shit.
My oldest son says I always preach and lecture. Those are his definitions of the conversations we have about his habitual mistakes. Mistakes he argues are not actually mistakes simply because he doesn’t want to admit he’s wrong. And I don’t give a fuck because we both know he’s wrong and I want him to realize I’m right. I don’t need him to say it. Just act like it. And he, being my son and likeminded, persists to also not give a fuck. I can see it in his eyes. Until he needs my advice or to buy something. Usually soccer cleats or, ROBLOX, robucks or some shit for some video game I don’t give a fuck about.
Since I desire a better relationship with my son, I’m revisiting the laws of attraction to have a better relationship with myself.
I should be secure enough in the fact that I’m right. This will stop nurturing and perpetuating the unhealthy insanity controlling a teenager’s mind to make me lose my own. He’s already paying for his mistakes, so why remind him? Because it pisses me off when he acts like being a shithead doesn’t stain his reputation and mentality.
An adolescent mind is hormonal.
A teenage mind is hormonal.
An adult mind is hormonal.
A parent’s mind is hormonal.
The job of a parent to find meaningful, helpful connections between angst and happiness never ends. We just think it does because we feel as our children grow up all of their decisions should have perfect or at-least ideal results.
We know that’s insane. So why keep doing it?
Solution.
Try listening instead of comparing or connecting your child’s struggles to similar ones you had. Your child will open the door for comparison when they’re ready. And if they take too long, make sure to ASK if you can share similar struggles without comparing results or pushing yours as an anecdote.
Allow yourself to be the anecdote.
For all the fathers wondering “how the fuck do I do this?” My advice is “just don’t pull out.”
